In talking to a friend last week, I realized something about myself. I’m a goal setter. I rarely make a move without identifying the objective, plotting out the steps and then methodically stepping through each milestone to achieve the goal.
That can be a good thing for most but for me it’s a weakness.
My husband says I overanalyze. First I research. Then I go out and buy a “how to do this” book, read it cover to cover… then think some more…. I ponder… I wonder… I seek advice and counsel from trusted friends… then I think some more. Only problem is there’s no activity – no measurable progress. I move at a snail’s pace, talk about it, obsess about it (this could take years)… THEN I make a move.
Back in the day, I got bored really easily at work. Boredom led me to job-hop in a time when that kind of thing was a no-no. Back then, in the 80’s and early 90’s, when my standards and requirements and expectations were really low I could afford that kind of freedom. Once I got married, had a house, kids (and a cat) my expectations rose higher and my freedom seemed limited.
Eventually I landed in a great job which I thought would cure my job-hopper tendencies. But after a few years I outgrew it and it was time to plot my next step. True to form, I started the research-ponder-wonder scenario and ultimately I made myself miserable. I couldn’t concentrate on work because I was preoccupied with what to do next, and I couldn’t concentrate on what to do next because I knew my work was suffering. Talk about miserable!
It didn’t help that there were people around me who were really happy at work. They were great people who were happy doing the same job for 10-20 years who would be happy to continue for 10-20 more. This was not something I could do…
Then one day while sitting under the dryer at the hairdresser mentally wrestling with what-to-do, what-to-do it occurred to me that I was wasting my time… Then I heard the voice of reason “Just keep swimming”, Dori said. You know Dori... The blue fish in Finding Nemo? (Yes, sometimes its important to listen to the voices of cartoon characters...) But I digress... LOL
Sure, it’s ok to set a goal. Sure, its ok to plan your next steps... just don’t obsess about them. Obsessing, over-analyzing and overthinking just waste time and energy. Too much of this focus on the future and you'll end up missing out on the good times that could be happening in the here and now. If you just keep swimming, you’ll probably end up somewhere better than you even envisioned. Just keep swimming. Work hard, do your best, let your light shine and keep the faith. Trust that there are angels around to do the heavy lifting.
Set a goal…. Then wing it!!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
What would you do if you were laid off tomorrow?
What would I do if I were laid off tomorrow? I’ve been there enough times that I can at least partially answer that question:
1. First, you make the call to your significant other.
2. Second, you box up all your stuff and go home; cursing or crying.
3. Third, you do the math and estimate your future bills vs. expenses. (This is where the panic starts …)
What’s next? Usually it’s the traditional action plan: sign up for unemployment, put that old blue suit in the cleaners, and start making calls to line up a job just like the one that laid you off. Keep in mind that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
If you are in the fortunate position to be employed today then take a moment now to stop and count your blessings. When you’re done, I challenge you to think for a moment… What would you do if you were laid off tomorrow? You will probably say 'I’ll follow the tried and true “blue suit” method'. But then the right side of your brain should be allowed to speak up, think creatively and fantasize about other possibilities. For example, I often fantasize about reaching out to Oprah and pitching her ideas for a new show. Or I’ll mentally outline the book I’d love to publish, or the makeover service I’d love to start. But usually that’s where it ends.
If I challenge myself a little further and think these ideas through, I could probably make one or all of them work. Take the pitching Oprah idea…. Write out a summary of my show idea, go to Oprah’s website, find an email address or producer contact and take it from there. See? Not so scary… totally doable. In my case, those ideas usually remain a fantasy, and then I get laid off and follow the blue suit method.
Wouldn’t it be great to think out of the box for a change? Look at American Idol, or The Apprentice, or even Joan Rivers’ new show, How’d You Get So Rich? … Joan recently interviewed the inventor of the Wee-wee Pad, Allen Simon, who is now a millionaire a hundred times over. What about Oprah? She’s a great example of the success that comes from hard work and out of the box thinking. The world is full of people who have followed their ideas to success and happiness. Why not you and me?
So today I am challenging you to let your right brain do the talking for a change. Be creative! Dust off those crazy fantasies and really think them through. Sit down with a crayon and a big sketch pad and design your next life. Do the research, write your notes, write your business plan, call someone in your network and talk to them about it and then keep adding to it. Do it now – whether you’re working or not. Outline how you would make those fantasies credible and real. Keep those thoughts in the forefront of your mind and if conditions arise you won't have too far to reach.
Hopefully, you won’t be laid off tomorrow (or ever), but please keep this in mind: If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, then wouldn’t it be crazy to keep turning to that old blue suit?
By the way, Oprah really is looking for new talent and show ideas: http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html
Think Big!! :-)
1. First, you make the call to your significant other.
2. Second, you box up all your stuff and go home; cursing or crying.
3. Third, you do the math and estimate your future bills vs. expenses. (This is where the panic starts …)
What’s next? Usually it’s the traditional action plan: sign up for unemployment, put that old blue suit in the cleaners, and start making calls to line up a job just like the one that laid you off. Keep in mind that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
If you are in the fortunate position to be employed today then take a moment now to stop and count your blessings. When you’re done, I challenge you to think for a moment… What would you do if you were laid off tomorrow? You will probably say 'I’ll follow the tried and true “blue suit” method'. But then the right side of your brain should be allowed to speak up, think creatively and fantasize about other possibilities. For example, I often fantasize about reaching out to Oprah and pitching her ideas for a new show. Or I’ll mentally outline the book I’d love to publish, or the makeover service I’d love to start. But usually that’s where it ends.
If I challenge myself a little further and think these ideas through, I could probably make one or all of them work. Take the pitching Oprah idea…. Write out a summary of my show idea, go to Oprah’s website, find an email address or producer contact and take it from there. See? Not so scary… totally doable. In my case, those ideas usually remain a fantasy, and then I get laid off and follow the blue suit method.
Wouldn’t it be great to think out of the box for a change? Look at American Idol, or The Apprentice, or even Joan Rivers’ new show, How’d You Get So Rich? … Joan recently interviewed the inventor of the Wee-wee Pad, Allen Simon, who is now a millionaire a hundred times over. What about Oprah? She’s a great example of the success that comes from hard work and out of the box thinking. The world is full of people who have followed their ideas to success and happiness. Why not you and me?
So today I am challenging you to let your right brain do the talking for a change. Be creative! Dust off those crazy fantasies and really think them through. Sit down with a crayon and a big sketch pad and design your next life. Do the research, write your notes, write your business plan, call someone in your network and talk to them about it and then keep adding to it. Do it now – whether you’re working or not. Outline how you would make those fantasies credible and real. Keep those thoughts in the forefront of your mind and if conditions arise you won't have too far to reach.
Hopefully, you won’t be laid off tomorrow (or ever), but please keep this in mind: If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, then wouldn’t it be crazy to keep turning to that old blue suit?
By the way, Oprah really is looking for new talent and show ideas: http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html
Think Big!! :-)
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The Passion Conspiracy: The evolution of passion at work
Once upon a time it was all about the job. You went to college to get a good job. You chose your major based, in no small part, on the job you could get after graduation. You drove a bus, learned to type or got your MBA from NYU Stern so that you could get a great job making great money. There was never really any talk of what do you like to do. Oh sure you could say that coloring with crayons made you happy, but there was no feasible way you could make a living at it so you settled for a job instead.
Then suddenly, everyone started talking about passion instead of a job… do what you love and be passionate about your work… passionate about what you do… Even as I counsel my kids on their college choices I’m not asking them what kind of job they want. I am telling them to study what they are interested in. Do what makes you happy. Do what you love and (hopefully) the money will come. Hold on… Where did all that passion come from?
I remember watching Oprah, a few years ago as she interviewed Po Bronson. In his best seller, "What Should I Do with My Life?" he interviewed over 1000 people about how they found their ideal work. The work that fed their soul, the work they were meant to do and the work that makes them happy. I think the evolution of passion at work was right on time, but I don’t know if it was coincidence.
Is it a coincidence that we started this search for passion around the same time as the ever expanding real estate bubble loomed large overhead? I think not. How about real estate…. We can’t count on those golden nest eggs of home equity anymore…. A fortunate few may have gotten in on reverse mortgages while real estate prices held steady. But many current retirees got caught in the real estate bubble burst and are now holding upside down mortgages instead of sitting pretty on their home equity nest eggs. Without that safety nest, you may need to work longer, and if you’re going to work longer, I sure hope you love what you do.
Today’s dot.com Gen Y workers are not the work-40-years-for-the-same-company-and-retire-happily-and-comfortably-with-a-pension types… Most of today’s workers will not see the cushy and comfortable pension funded golden years as some of the baby boomers and other previous generations. One would be hard pressed to find a company these days that even offers a pension. With social security is breathing its last breath and many of us funding our own retirements with 401k’s and IRA’s, our golden years are getting further and further out of reach. A few years back 55 was retiring early, but realistically, 70 may be the new threshold. Work, work, work.
This all comes at a time when 40 is the new 30. Most of us are trying to extend our lives, living healthier to live longer. 30 minutes a day of cardio, cholesterol free organic heart smart dieting are buzz words from our new healthy life mantra. The Center for Disease Control has set the mark at 77 for the average US life expectancy. That means that we’ll probably have to work longer to support our longer healthier lives. All the more reason to love your work…. You’re going to be doing it for much longer than you thought!
So, let’s revisit the notion of passion at work. I maintain that the evolution of the idea is no coincidence, but rather an idea born out of necessity. The bad news is that financial factors may dictate that we work way past 55. The good news is that if we keep striving to live healthier, we’ll be healthy enough to keep working as long as we need to. The silver lining? If we choose our work wisely, and work at what makes us happy, our passions will keep us smiling. That’s not a conspiracy, that’s just good timing.
Then suddenly, everyone started talking about passion instead of a job… do what you love and be passionate about your work… passionate about what you do… Even as I counsel my kids on their college choices I’m not asking them what kind of job they want. I am telling them to study what they are interested in. Do what makes you happy. Do what you love and (hopefully) the money will come. Hold on… Where did all that passion come from?
I remember watching Oprah, a few years ago as she interviewed Po Bronson. In his best seller, "What Should I Do with My Life?" he interviewed over 1000 people about how they found their ideal work. The work that fed their soul, the work they were meant to do and the work that makes them happy. I think the evolution of passion at work was right on time, but I don’t know if it was coincidence.
Is it a coincidence that we started this search for passion around the same time as the ever expanding real estate bubble loomed large overhead? I think not. How about real estate…. We can’t count on those golden nest eggs of home equity anymore…. A fortunate few may have gotten in on reverse mortgages while real estate prices held steady. But many current retirees got caught in the real estate bubble burst and are now holding upside down mortgages instead of sitting pretty on their home equity nest eggs. Without that safety nest, you may need to work longer, and if you’re going to work longer, I sure hope you love what you do.
Today’s dot.com Gen Y workers are not the work-40-years-for-the-same-company-and-retire-happily-and-comfortably-with-a-pension types… Most of today’s workers will not see the cushy and comfortable pension funded golden years as some of the baby boomers and other previous generations. One would be hard pressed to find a company these days that even offers a pension. With social security is breathing its last breath and many of us funding our own retirements with 401k’s and IRA’s, our golden years are getting further and further out of reach. A few years back 55 was retiring early, but realistically, 70 may be the new threshold. Work, work, work.
This all comes at a time when 40 is the new 30. Most of us are trying to extend our lives, living healthier to live longer. 30 minutes a day of cardio, cholesterol free organic heart smart dieting are buzz words from our new healthy life mantra. The Center for Disease Control has set the mark at 77 for the average US life expectancy. That means that we’ll probably have to work longer to support our longer healthier lives. All the more reason to love your work…. You’re going to be doing it for much longer than you thought!
So, let’s revisit the notion of passion at work. I maintain that the evolution of the idea is no coincidence, but rather an idea born out of necessity. The bad news is that financial factors may dictate that we work way past 55. The good news is that if we keep striving to live healthier, we’ll be healthy enough to keep working as long as we need to. The silver lining? If we choose our work wisely, and work at what makes us happy, our passions will keep us smiling. That’s not a conspiracy, that’s just good timing.
Monday, October 5, 2009
It’s the other 16 hours that count.
“I’m grateful to have a job in this economy, but…” is a very common refrain of late and in this economy following your passion is easier said than done. That is understandable, but don’t give up on your dreams just because you spend 8 hours a day doing something you really don’t like. Remember the other 16 hours!!!!
In a recent episode of Dr. Phil, there was a session with a woman who had been laid off. She’s married and I think she had kids, but her life, her identity and her happiness were wrapped up in that job. I mean, she was on the show to talk about her marriage problems, but it was clear that her life was her title. That’s pretty much all she talked about, even with her husband present. Her eyes lit up when she talked about her career, and the lights went out when she talked about her marriage. I couldn’t help but infer that had she put a fraction of the energy she had for work into working on her husband, she might not be so lost now or so alone.
Not only is that a sad reality because she’s one of the millions of unemployed Americans, but she’s also a great mirror to hold up to your own self image. If you are at work 8 hours and spending the other 16 ruminating over the day’s events, rehashing shoulda, coulda, wouldas, before you fall into a restless sleep…. If you spend Friday night recovering from work and all day Sunday dreading Monday. It’s time to get a life.
Seriously. Not until recently did I realize how much energy I've been giving away to my 9-5, for free! So I'm changing direction, and looking for ways to expand my thinking and pour more energy into the rest of me.
If it's not too late for me, then it's not too late for you. My advice? Spend some time building yourself up, spend time with your family – not distracted time, but wholly “in the moment” time, go to the gym after work, meditate, pray, write a book, take a class, take a walk. Do something that keeps you in touch with your authentic self – the “you” that you have to live with, even when you’re not at work.
In a recent episode of Dr. Phil, there was a session with a woman who had been laid off. She’s married and I think she had kids, but her life, her identity and her happiness were wrapped up in that job. I mean, she was on the show to talk about her marriage problems, but it was clear that her life was her title. That’s pretty much all she talked about, even with her husband present. Her eyes lit up when she talked about her career, and the lights went out when she talked about her marriage. I couldn’t help but infer that had she put a fraction of the energy she had for work into working on her husband, she might not be so lost now or so alone.
Not only is that a sad reality because she’s one of the millions of unemployed Americans, but she’s also a great mirror to hold up to your own self image. If you are at work 8 hours and spending the other 16 ruminating over the day’s events, rehashing shoulda, coulda, wouldas, before you fall into a restless sleep…. If you spend Friday night recovering from work and all day Sunday dreading Monday. It’s time to get a life.
Seriously. Not until recently did I realize how much energy I've been giving away to my 9-5, for free! So I'm changing direction, and looking for ways to expand my thinking and pour more energy into the rest of me.
If it's not too late for me, then it's not too late for you. My advice? Spend some time building yourself up, spend time with your family – not distracted time, but wholly “in the moment” time, go to the gym after work, meditate, pray, write a book, take a class, take a walk. Do something that keeps you in touch with your authentic self – the “you” that you have to live with, even when you’re not at work.
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